Don't Underestimate Learned Behaviors

I was in a coaching session with a client who is what I refer to as a "resistant Follow Thru." That translates into a talented multi-tasker who takes shortcuts and seeks out the most efficient (fastest) route to a result. He is consistently inconsistent and most of all...definitely NOT organized. His desk and office were a mess -- all in keeping with his innate method of operating. He would probably say, "Why take the time to organize if you have something to get done?"

 

However, when we started talking about his personal life, he revealed to me that he organizes the clothes in his closet by color. I almost fell out of my chair. That behavior was completely out of character for him. Upon further probing, I found out that his mother insisted that he and his siblings organize their closets by color when growing up. Clearly, the learned behavior became ingrained in his childhood and thus stuck with him into adulthood. 

 

As with my client, learned behavior can be a strong force -- an overriding power -- to our instincts. In some cases, this force is positive and we can harness learned behaviors to our advantage. In other cases, learned behaviors can be very harmful to our personal productivity and satisfaction.

 

When are learned behaviors good?

 

Learned behaviors are positive when they become "mindless" habits. In fact, making something a habit (a sort of redundant learned behavior) is a strategy for dealing with activities that force us to function outside of our natural talents. For example, I do not naturally stick to a schedule - at least not a rigid one. Yet, some things just have to happen regularly...like paying bills. So I've made it a habit to divide bills according to mid-month and end-of-the-month payment as soon as I receive them. I have repeated this activity so many times that I don't think about it or commit much effort to it anymore. So the learned behavior, though somewhat contrary to my natural instincts, is a positive and even protective strategy.      

 

When are learned behaviors bad?  

 
Learned behaviors are bad when they override our natural instincts to the point that 1) we feel stress and/or 2) we lose sight of what our natural instincts really are. A prime example is of a person who puts a great deal of energy into following a time management system that she learned in a training program. It is a system that she fully understands and is expected to follow, but is not at all something she would naturally use. So the stress and frustration of forcing herself to follow the system is much greater than the benefit. Another example is of a person who has performed an activity for so long, that he just assumes it must be natural to him. Slowly, the person starts to define himself by his activities and behaviors, rather than his innate instincts for taking action.

 

I recently heard a story about a lion at a zoo who was put in a very small, temporary cage while his much larger habitat was being remodeled. Unfortunately, the renovation took far longer than planned, and the lion became very used to his tight quarters. When the time finally came to release the animal into his expansive new home, he stayed within a small area....which happened to be the same size of his temporary cage. The lion had learned new boundaries, and lost the freedom to be himself (and even the understanding of what that meant). The raw drive and "boundary-less-ness" of the animal was replaced with learned parameters.

 

How do you foster the good learned behaviors and ward off the bad ones?

 

The simplest and easiest answer is self-awareness. Most people - like the lion - aren't even aware of the habits or activities that they acquire over time and are outside of their instinctual way of performing. Simply identifying your learned behaviors is a major step in ensuring that they do not dull or overtake your natural and perfect talents.